I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
