Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
operation harelip BJ is a go
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
