i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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