it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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