just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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