im holly from the hills drunk
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
