Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
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I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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