i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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