Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
