If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
