i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
is this the sara with the beer cane?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
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