My brain says no but my pants say off.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
