Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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