we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
