hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Randomize
