I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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