I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You may now shotgun with the bride
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
i now understand why vodka
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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