True but thats because hes a fetus.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
