Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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