:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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