Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
