If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
