He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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