She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Randomize
