There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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