Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
my poor anus
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
