I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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