I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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