my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
