i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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