before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
