Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
he thought i was a dude.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
