i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
