I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
