Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
