And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
