we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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