so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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