Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
