we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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