PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
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