you turned your livingroom into a bong?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Randomize
