Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
try to milk me bitch
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