I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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