I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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