My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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