I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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