The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
