Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
