Do you still have your period?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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