Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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