He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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