I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
