you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
