That's intense
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
