i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
