onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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