yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
