Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
