What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
