How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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