If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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