Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
