I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
